Hi Guys,

After being determined to find out whats wrong with me, I came acrossd a website that basically could have been written about me!

It was saying that being self conscious means being overly aware or yourself, trying to work yourself out contstantly, reflecting about yourself alot, being the subject of ur own fantasies and examining motives.

I feel unsafe in the world around alot, feel constantly harrassesd (by myself) and realise that I don't enjoy things because im worrying about how I feel etc!

I was just wondering if anyone has the same feelings and any suggestions how to get over it, I keep "getting a glimpse" of how to get "into" the situation instead of curling up inside myself but then i immediately snap out of it because im worried that i SHOULD be aware of how I feel and worry about neglecting myself!

I sound so complicated!!xxx

Hi there.  Horrid feeling isn't it when we are so self conscious about what we do, how we behave.

If it is any help, one thing I have found is that there are lots of other people "out there" who feel the same but generally others don't notice it. Chances are people don't notice the fact you are self conscious either. I keep on getting told that I am amazingly confident in the way I mix with people, even strangers. If only they knew!

I don't have much in the way of suggestions about how to cope, except to say that it helps me if I pace myself a bit. Two social/out of the ordinary events in a week are an absolute maximum. Doesn't always work out of course. At the end of the month I have a blood test, a GP appointment, a cookery group and a lunch group to handle within about 8days. Plus, after 48 hours a dental appointment and that is a whole different story ARGH!

Some people find it helps to tell themselves firmly that they are capable and can cope. Not sure if you have tried CBT (cognative behaviour therapy), again this can be very effective in helping to face our demons

EDIT: just to say that it would be worth you posting something on the Selfconfidence chat, scroll further down the page, an expert on the subject who will answer questions posted on the given date

Hi Tabby,

Thankyou for your reply! You are right about people thinking the opposite about me, everyone thinks im outgoing and chatty etc which is why I can't tell people how I feel as they dont "believe" me!

On the surface I wouldnt say im self concious but all the feelings and symtons I feel lead to it. I never feel like im doing enough and I never feel fully "there".  I cant fully engage with situaions and I find it really hard to even sit comfortable (without itching, feeling cold, clothes irritating me etc etc).

I cant focus on anything before iv "prepared myself" both physically and mentally - e.g. going to the loo, getting comfortable, working through anything else going on around me etc etc!)

I dont really know what I am asking for but any help would be a step forward!

Where was the link you mentioned?

Thankyou again xx

the "chat" is on 9th of October, scroll down to the next folder on the main page of the Stop Worrying board. You need to post your question before hand. Chat sessions like this are the chance to ask professionals for their advice.

Hi,

Ok I feel that you have a lot of anxiety and you are an observer!

If you are both of these at the same time then it will make life very difficult into getting into the flow of things.

Don't worry it is common - but what I would suggest is to be far more spontaneous. Allow yourself to go slow.

If you are on a night out with fiends, just go with the flow rather than scrutinising how you are being portrayed!

Good luck!