Hi

I'll admit Im actually kinda shivering writing this because even with the annonymity the internet provides it still feels weird to admit it.

So Im 23 and still a virgin guy which makes me feel bad considering in this modern world we live in, people who lose their virginity at 17 or 18 consider it "late".

My opinion on the reason for this is simply because I dont get out enough. At the place where I work, I know lots of girls and get on well with them. I have a good sense of humour and love making people laugh. Im the sort of guy who tries to get along with everybody.

Now my reasoning for not going out mostly started back at school. In primary school I had a tendancy to get picked on and in secondary school people seemed to get meaner. With this in mind, I rarely go into town because of how mean people, people who dont even know me, can be.

Firstly because of being afraid that any confidence I have built since the school days could get a punch in the stomach if someone was nasty to me. Secondly because the main social gathering places, like pubs and clubs, are full of crowds and noisy and I dont like going to places that has many people or is so loud you cant hear others talking.

So if I want to meet girls but dont like pubs or clubbing, where do I go, what do I do?

Ooohh it feels good to get that off my chest :)

pubs and clubs aren't always the best places to meet people. Do you have any hobbies or interests? Quite often there is more chance of meeting people this way. You could also try internet dating or speed dating. This would give you a bit of practice with meeting new people but from what you say this is not a particular problem.

As you are friendly with people in work, why not suggest a few of you go out together. There is safetly in numbers.

Hello,

I dont think when other people pop the cherry, so to speak!, should matter. My friend is 26, male, good looking confident etc....lost his virginity at 24....to his current girlfriend and she is lovely. My other mate, lost his at 23 to his current girlfriend...they have just got engaged and bought a house. A girl i know has slept will well over a hundred men (and it isn't just reputation, i've known her long enough to see most conquests!) she lost her virginity when she went to uni, so at 18/19, and has only ever had boyfriends for a couple of weeks at most. Now, i personally would rather sleep with fewer people and be happy with one person in a loving relationship than be found in hysterics (really drunk) sat on the floor outside a club moaning that no guys respect her.

I've been single for a few years, so i've tried a few things...i dont mind clubs and pubs, but i dont fancy men i see in clubs, so i never pull....instead i've tried..

- speed dating
- internet dating
- going out with ANYONE who even hints at a date (not the best idea)
- asking men out
- new hobbies ... I'd highly recommend salsa dancing, improves confidence and there are more women than men...and what woman wouldn't want a guy who knows how to feel how shes moving and can wiggle his hips! (you can go alone, and everyone is friendly and non threatoning)
- joining a new gym (going to mine on Tuesday)
- I also tend to flirt with men who can take a joke..ie. i'll call another department, flirt a little and then have people i sit with comment..there are also post boys haha..its all just meaningless fun but its also improving some skills which will help when there is someone you like. Although its important to only do it with people who can take it as a joke, I wouldnt intentionally lead someone on as its not fair... and i always say things that cant be misconstrued (like "hey, How you doin'" ..its so in your face people see it as a joke)

BUT...i've been single for years so im no expert on this! I was becoming miserable about not getting sex etc. and i've found that although these extra activities have not made me any less single, i am happier. I've also started a masters...so im busy, and my life is fun. When people say 'have you been up to anything..i can say ' yes ive...' which i think is much more appealing than just having a partner. Also, the more you do and more interesting you are the more appealing you'd be to perspective partners...or at least that's what i like in men. Also...i'm not confident, i just push myself.

Good luck!