Hello all….

Well, I’m looking for some thoughts on the following.

I am married, 6 months, to an arab man..  that’s another story LOL… but suffice to say, he’s a good man, no problems there.. and because of the culture and their personal situation, his sister lives with us.  First of all, oh now I’m digressing and having a gripe.. when we met he said his sister would stay with us some of the time and some of the time with his other sister.  When we were married, I found out she would be staying permanently!  We argued and argued over what he said.. he didn’t say she would be staying permanently!!  We concluded it was lost in translation but hmmm, I’m not so sure about that.  His other sister and her family live next door so it’s ok.. sometimes the live-in sister in law does go next door, but anyway, as I said, I’m digressing. And the live-in sister is another story, of which I have many!!! J

Well, the other sister has a 1 year old child.  Now the live-in sister has never married so has no children.  It is unlikely she will ever marry.. she is 47 and once you get past 30 in their culture, you basically will never marry.  Apparently she had plenty of suitors but she was “too fussy”.   She is always with the child, carrying it around, taking it for walks, everything.

So, carrying on… the child is a little boy and is adorable so of course, me, not having children, and unlikely too either having now at the age of 43 started the menopause, really love to see it and when I can, get a change to play with him and teach him English LOL.  A while back, visiting the other sister next door, I took the opportunity to hold the child.  No sooner was he on my lap was he taken away by the live-in sister who then sat herself holding him and I just sat there flummoxed and a little embarrassed and confused.  Why did she do that?  I spoke to my husband about it, he just said you’re just analysing too much.  Then whenever both sisters are busy and someone has to hold the baby, he’s given to my husband who really doesn’t have much time for young children.

Today we all went out and I pushed the child in the pram out into the lobby, the live-in-sister giving me a strange look so I thought, ok.. that’s enough, give her the pram!  Again, someone needed to hold the child so instead of giving him to me, and I was sitting right next to her, she reached over me and gave the child to my husband.

Other instances, when the child reaches out to me, she never lets me hold him.. just holds him away from her enough so he can touch me, but never gives him to me.

It really does now annoy me especially when I’ve related all the above to my husband and he just says I’m being silly when I say there’s something psychological going on here with her, me and the child i.e. she feels threatened.

For my part, it makes me sad because I really love children and he’s the closest thing I have to having one of my own.  I don’t want  to take it for walks like she does, but just to be able to hold him now and again without the live-in sister being so possessive.  Funny thing is, the mother is completely opposite – she gives him to me to hold and play with… today was a prime example, he was sitting on my lap in the car, whilst it was parked, laughing away playing with the windscreen wipers… just, me, my husband, and the mother – the live-in sister was shopping.  As soon as she was back in though, baby was on her lap.

Is it me… am I over-reacting.. paranoid or is something going on here.. ?

Thanks for your thoughts…

Feli xx