hi every one i will try to keep it short

i have been with my partner for about 18 months now i have a seven yearold daughter and my partner as not bonded yet with her she does not even try we have had a lot of arguements over it .She as said she wants to help me bring her up but she as alot of rules and regulations and thats what we fall out about . the last arguement we had she as come back and said that she does not want any say in bringing up my daughter any more am not sure what to do . we are a gay couple . can you give me any advice pleasex

Hi there,

I just wanted to let you know that i know how you feel.  I have a 7 year old daughter too and my gf is also alot stricter than i am.  They are both very stubborn.  We don't live together though, i don't know how things would be if we did.  I'm sure that we would work at it.  If im honest my gf being stricter than i am doesn't seem to effect either of them as much as it does me.  I guess being the parent we know what we find acceptable and what we dont.  It can be very hard to hear/see someone else disciplining our kids even if we have asked for it!

I think your gf has reacted how anyone would to be fair to her.  She obviously finds it difficult bringing up your daughter with you as she knows that you both have different views on things and at the end of the day its your final say that goes.  She probably feels undermined.  I don't know, i often try to imagine how i would cope if it were the other way around.  You ask her to share responsiblity and then when she does you don't like how she does it because its not how you would do it.

I apologise if that was harsh, i just know how things are with myself and my daughter and gf and i know how i am, you sound alot like me lol!

I think if it is going to work there has to be some give and take but i am sure you will work at it.

I hope this has helped a little.

Take care

OT x