Hi

I have been on this website off and on for about 4 years now, I don't know where to post at the moment, I have a support network in my life, with seeing my therapist and starting reiki soon to help with the stress.

My girlfriend, of 3 and half years, has been returned to NZ, we have beated the odds of being together, but the visa was declined in June. We went to court to appeal, and with the stress of that, begging for money from friends to help us pay for that, we waited a further agonising 6 weeks, only to find out it was declined again. Its caused a massive strain on both of our parts, not to mention fianicially. Aweek last Sunday, I say good bye at the airport, she has to go home to reapply for another visa, this time a partnership visa. We have been apart just over a week now, and i am not coping, i cry most of the day, everything around me, is us, minus her not being here, i am tired but cnt sleep, i find it hard to mix with my friends, i cannot paint, or write, i just sit in silence, my light has gone. she is my soulmate, were lifers, anyone of our friends will tell you that. i feel sad because it has come to this, i feel angry, i feel in shock, i feel so many things, and i dont know how to deal with them. We tallk but its a lap over off 11 hours, and i feel her pain, my pain, our pain.

not sure, if ive got depression, some days i do, some days, i am just sad, some days i cry, some days, i am scared that if we dont get a visa, how can we ever be together.

Hey Hipchick try not to worry so much because you have very little control. I think this is the biggest stress for you. Just remember what you have with your girlfriend and that you can be together just not in the conventional way.

Don't fight it- go with it and see it as something to get over.
What's the worst case scenario?
Can you move to New Zealand?
Do you only have this one chance of love?
LET GO...NOT OF HER BUT OF IT- THE NEED TO CONTROL THIS AND DO WHAT YOU CAN TO ENJOY EACH OTHER. EVERYTHING DOESN'T HAPPEN IMMEDIATELY AND IN FACT SOMETIMES IT'S GOOD WHEN IT DOESNT.

If your depressed meet people, go out, dont dwell or focus on it (pain, sadness), fight it and stop wallowing because you have a great life, friends, family and a great life. Focus on these things...what about the people in your life- do they need support? What if they are going through things? Think of them.

Tough love but it's life and you must deal with this without making youself go mad