Hello,

My first time here on this particular board, but was hoping I could get some answers/advice. Well here is my dilemma:

I lived in Tokyo for 6months (4months ago) during which I met someone and we clicked from the first date. Problem was I was always going to come back to the UK as my family is here and don't wanna be too far and he was in the Navy and American, which means he would go back to the US.

So I questioned him about what I was to him and when he did not reply my msgs I assumed it was all in my head and that I didn't mean all that much to him. So I brokeup with him. I didn't hear from him for a month and a half until two weeks (or so) before I was leaving japan. He said he missed me etc, I didn't believe him but when I came back he e-mailed me and told me how I meant so much to him. I am so annoyed as it was too late, I was not going to see him again. It caused me so much upset as I knew i may never meet someone I can feel like that towards. And by the time he was telling me all this i was seeing someone else, whom I brokeup with recently (complicated but in short he was just not ever gonna be the one). So now somehow my Navy guy is in touch with me. he e-mailed me and I told him it was too late, but he never gave up. He even called on my mobile and chatted to me on skype when it was 2.30am to his time and he has to wake up 6am.

I think I believe I mean something to him, but i am confused about how I feel. Also confused about what the point of all this is as he is going to the US soon for two years as part of his job then plans to stay in the country, where as I am in the UK. I wanna sort my career etc, and not too keen to leave my family behind. Also i am almost 26 and by then I would be 28 before we even begin to plan a future. And there is no guarantee he won't change his mind. he is also slightly younger (yeah I was surprised as i thought he was in his 30s) so he don't get that maybe i wanna settle down sooner than him.

Sorry guys for my LOOONNG story, but didn't know how else to write it. I just need some advice. what would you do in my situation? Any advice or help is very much appreciated.

Thank you,

Sam

Hi Sam, welcome to the board!

I'm Kelly, i'm very soon to be 30 and live in Holland with my hubby (who used to be my LDL!) and our daughter. We did the whole LDR thing for 10 months before I moved here to be with him. I'm also the CL for this board!

I read your story a few times, and it sounds like this guy does want to at least try a relationship with you. Have you thought about how it would work if you just tried an LDR for a few months to see how it develops? There are so many ways of staying in touch these day's, that you could even 'see' each other every day through skype or msn with a webcam!

Maybe you could try and get together every few months? I know that flights to the us are a hell of a lot cheaper now, sometimes you can get really good deals, like if you know when you want to go, you could just go to the airport and wait till a flight comes up on standby. I know people who have flown to America for peanuts by doing it this way!

If you do decide to go through with it, don't forget that we are always here to support you, especially when you are feeling low and down in the dumps!

Take Care

CL On Long Distance Love http://messageboards.ivillage.co.uk/iv-ukrllongdist/

Hello Kelly,

Thank you very much for replying. I will take your advice, although I have not heard from him since last week and really annoyed me as we had plans to talk on saturday. But I do know his job means he may not have been been able to. Don't know how to make him realise he needs to contact me more. He thinks as long as he tells me he does think of me its enough, but I do need to actually hear from him and if possible hear his voice. Its just every little problem can be magnified.

I guess I have my doubts and mainly because I am scared what if I do wait and it don't work out. Also due to Long distance making it so hard, just makes me doubt if I am capable of doing this. I do wanna be with him and I know he wants to be with me, hope that's enough to make it work.

Sam