Hello,

I don't post very often but at the minute I just feel I need to know what everyone else feels like.

I married an army man a year ago and he went straight on a 6 month tour to afghan, it was a very stressful time but its all done now and we've moved off to our married quarters abroad and since then its getting very very lonely.

I lived alone before in my flat back home but I could call up friends or family and go visit them or go out on day trips in my car, since I'm now abroad I see no one but my DH and he's been on loads of exercises since we got here leaving me alone, I find it hard to make friends with the wives out here as I have a bowel disease and since Ive moved it has become a lot worse meaning I can't go out very much and as I also don't have children I feel very out of the club so to speak.

Every day is the same, hubby goes to work early, comes back to 5, i make tea and he's tired so we relax and watch tv till 10pm comes and he wants to go to bed and sleep, the weekends I normally get to see him hut he's off to the football today and I feel so cut off and lonely out here, we've even had to sell my car and get a new car to be our joint car - however he goes off with the car all the time and so I'm literally stranded.

I can't even just go home for visits as we have a dog so can't just fly back whenever we like... sorry for the rant I'm just feeling very low and I've tried to discuss this with my hubby but he doesn't seem to understand. Also due to work we're going to have to live apart for 9 months and I'll only get to see him at the weekends soon, I'm dreading it and I'm considering moving back home and just living separate for now.

What are your thoughts?

Many thanks, Joanne xx

Hi Joanne, In answer to your question yes I feel lonely, I've been married ten months and we moved straight out to Germany then I found out I was pregnant and have been really ill so haven't been able to get out and about to meet people.

I have three children now but feel that because I didn't make an effort ten months ago that it's far too difficult now. I spend a huge part of my day on-line trying to keep up with what my friends back in the Uk are doing and hating that I'm here.

My Dh is has been on several courses this year so I feel he's hardly at home yet when he is out routine is almost identical to yours, he's out for 7:30am back for 5:30pm and then doesn't want to do anything much because of tiredness and it's the sameat weekends he never wants to do anything because of the tiredness and to make matters worse he's now starting pre-deployment training so is going to be away until December and then he's away for 6 months from April so I know I need to get out more and meet more people but it's taking that first step and I know that for you that must be even more difficult.

It might be worth contacting your local welfare office and explaining the issues you're having you never know there may be other people in similar situations, they may also be able to give you times of coffee mornings, even if you only went to one a month and only stayed a short time it would still get you out for a while (it's what I'm planning on doing).

If I didn't have my older children I would have left by now and gone back to the Uk but it's unfair on them to keep moving them around. Where abouts are you, there may be someone on here that's close to you that you could get to know.

Rachael x

Hello,

Thank you for your reply, it makes me feel better knowing that there's someone else in my situation who knows what I'm going through.

I'm also in germany and trying to keep up with friends back home - harder said than done! lol

xx

I hate the fact that other people feel like I do but like you've said the knowledge does help.

Keeping up with friends can be really depressing because it just reminds you of what you're missing but then again it's neccessary otherwise I find I end up feeling worse.

How are you finding Germany? I've found it hard because I don't speak the language and it's so hard to pick up.

Rachael xx