Hi all

I am going through a separation/divorce from my husband of 14 years we were together 19 years and like everyone I guess i thought it would be forever. I was extremely close to his family as well. Anyway he had affairs I stupidly forgave the first one 8 years ago and we tried to continue after the second one a year ago but the trust was well and truly destroyed he said I made his life unbearable checking up on him all the time and he left in May this year just upped and left no note nothing!!

I was very angry for a few months which got me through I was determined to cope without him and now just recently I am extremely sad I have not got him or his family anymore I'm not close to my family and i just feel all alone in the world. I seem to spiraling further and further into being a recluse I go to work full time I come home stare at the TV and go to bed, yet again this weekend I have done nothing and spoken to no one.

I cry all the time and just feel full of despair at my life and my future just seems black, I have to carry on for the sake of my 17 year old son but it's hard how do people cope and get through this? I have looked for local groups to join I joined nexus but they do not seem to have much going on in my area, i have thought about joining a salsa class but I'm scared to on my own which is silly because I am a grown up.... what happened to me?? I went to the doctor who said I am depressed and she gave me anti depressants 2 weeks ago which seem to be helping a little bit but how on earth to people get through this? I am sorry I know nobody else can really wave a magic wand and make my world better but I just feel lost alone and desperately unhappy all the time is this normal?

Any words of wisdom /advice to help me get through this would be greatly appreciated

Oh lovey - you sound so sad...I do feel for you.It can be hard on your own.Give your medication a little while longer,it takes at least two weeks to start to kick in..

This is a new start for you.It must have been very hard separating from your H and I really feel for you about the affairs.You deserve so much better than that.

Do you have any friends at work who you could maybe see at the weekend?

Please try and go to that class too.You may feel that once your medication has kicked in you feel strong enough to face it?

Don't give up hope,you will get there,I promise.Have you had no contact with his family at all?Were you close to them?If so they may want to keep in touch?Have you asked them?I'm still in touch with some of my ex h's family members.

CL on Moving On After Separation

Co CL on Separation And Divorce

Co CL on Trying For A Baby

 

Glitterfy.com - Photo Flipbooks

Hi Suzy

Thanks for replying, with his family it is very complicated his mum and I were always extremely close but the old saying blood is thicker than water has proved true. My H is living with his mum and dad and has a new woman who is only 24, he is 40 and i am 46 so even though i know I don't want him anymore the fact that she is so much younger seems to make it worse. Anyway despite the fact that his new relationship is very new (3 months) all my photo's have been removed from my in laws house and replaced with pics of the new woman. My mum in law always tries to keep everyone happy bless her but i think that hurt me almost as much as my H leaving me. Plus the new woman is always round there so I can't just pop in anymore.My mum in law has terminal cancer with just a few weeks to live so everyone is trying to keep a happy smiley front on so that she does not get upset. So on top of my marriage failing I am losing his mum forever and i was always much closer to her than my own mum I was lucky in that she was like a best friend not a mum in law. :-(

I have got a close friend at work who is in exactly the same situation( her H left 2 wks before mine) but as she has a younger child we can't really go out easily together and we end up just going over and over what has happened to us both making us both cry, we are both dreading this Xmas too.

I know lots of people have been here and got through it just feels so damn hard at the moment, I keep telling myself to take one day at a time and that things will get better but right here right now it all just feels horrid.

I'm sorry to rant away and I am even fed up with hearing myself being miserable I just don't know how to snap myself out of it

Hi Suzy

Feeling slightly brighter today , no sadly can't spend day together as my friend will be with her family. I guess it's just one day though and plenty of junk on TV to watch :-)