Right, I've been thinking of putting together some tips for Gail and Suzie for late pregnancy and when their newborns arrive... things that I'm glad I did and things I wish I had done differently.

All you mummies please copy & paste and add your tips to the list!

K xxx

Here goes:

- Don't stand when you can sit, don't sit when you can lie down, and rest/sleep whenever you can. It is NOT being lazy. That goes for late PG and even more so when baby arrives.

- Visitors: decide with your DH before the birth, what you want your visiting 'policy' to be. E.g. 'open house' with people dropping in whenever? Or your DH giving only very close friends & relatives set visiting times? I would definitely not recommend the 'open house' - it's too draining. Anyone who matters will understand if you tell them you need a couple of days alone just the 3 of you - you never get that precious time again.

- Visitors: don't run around hosting. Tell them to help themselves to drinks, and if anyone offers to help, LET THEM. And when you need them to leave, tell them.

- Newborn: the first few days are hugely overwhelming emotionally. Take each hour as it comes, try not to panic, if one hour is stressful (e.g. crying baby and you're not sure why), remember the next hour will be fine.

- Newborn: TALK to your DH / health visitors / mum / whoever, about how you are feeling especially if you can't shake the blues. There is no shame in admitting you are not bursting with joy and love for your baby like everyone seems to expect you to be. Not everyone feels that joy for a while, even a few weeks/months. My own joy has been a slow-burner, rather than a bolt of lightning.

- Newborn: Don't expect too much in terms of acheiving things each day. I got increasingly frustrated & felt like a failure when it got to the evening and all I'd done was shower (at midday!), eat some toast and do one load of laundry... until I realised that that is normal and I was expecting too much. Us working women are used to getting so many things done in one day that it's really weird to suddenly not get much 'done' at all. But being there for your tiny newborn, especially if he/she is high maintenance like Joshie was, is a huge full-time achievement in itself. Once I realised that, I relaxed and enjoyed each day much more.

I agree with all those! If I can think of any I'll add them.

Take Care, Lisa XxX

hey - you made me well up thinking of us and doing this! THANK YOU!

OK - that is all brill but i may need some help with the visiting bit - ok - my family/friends is fine - i can easily boss them about with the visiting times - i know they know i can be bossy when needed HOWEVER and this worse if i am still in the SODDING stupid house we are still in as its 1 bedroom and tiny - anyway

Vale's family so that's mum and dad, brother, his partner and new baby, and his sister and her 2 children will ALL rain down on us from italy - now i have already started putting feelers out for this - saying i def would like a couple of days home ALONE with DH at the start to bond as a new family - also i will feel REALLY on edge as his mum in particular (she is LOVELY but a total clean and tidy freak) and when she has stayed previously its been funny keeping up the pretence i am as clean and tidy as she is!!!! but i will feel stressed if she sees a mess or starts cleaning/ironing etc - it  makes me feel a failure???????????

How will i manage all this without them saying or feeling i am not letting them see their niece/nephew? This is one big worry i do have for sure and would like your advice in how best to tackle it - i can already feel DH is a bit nervous too about trying to keep us all happy as i REALLY understand how exciting it is to see a brand new member of the family and with Italians that is 10 fold - i love them all (ok  not his bro but we get on ok) but i just worry - maybe the solutions is to fix the time i want alone with hubster then - if they wanna come in when the house is messy - so be it  - not my problem???????????

Mrs G xx

Hey hun

Basically you need to sit down with Vale now, sooner the better, and come up with your ground rules, that you both agree on. You must present a united front and just stick to your guns. Whether that's deciding on actual 'visiting hours' each morning (e.g. "OK today let's do 2-4pm") and then when people call asking to visit that's what you tell them.. or just coming straight out with it and saying "we've decided to only have visitors every other day, we'll call you when we're ready"...

The sooner you tell his family what's going to happen, the longer they'll have to digest it before the baby arrives.

We had visitors in the first week, but once I realised I wasn't shaking the blues we basically sent a group text saying 'sorry guys but we need some time, will be in touch when we're ready for visitors again'. Nobody reacted badly, in fact everybody was lovely about it.

K xxx

hm but - they will be STAYING with us! usually Vale and I give up opur bedroom and sleep on hte sofa - if i have been cut and stretched etc - i wont wanna do that - i will want or bedroom and they can sleep on the sofa im afriad - i will put my foot down on that - as also if they stay in the bedroom - they might stay up watching tv downstairs which would mean nowhere for me and squiggle to sleep ??

you see! stupid house!!!

Mrs G xx