Hi,
Me and my fiancé have been together three and half years, he is 10years older than me and I'm 21, he was my first.
At first the sex was amazing and I suppose it's as I've become more experienced that I've wanted more - adventure and frequency, he works from 5 in the morning and is a twice a week kinda guy and although he used to suggest the spicing up since we had to move into his parents (just a stop gap we are moving to a new house in the next few weeks it's just being delayed by the bloody builders) our sex life has become very vanilla and less frequent and he has some 'trouble' he gets down when this happens and if I don't come at least twice when we are.
I know that the whole parents house has got to be a big turn off but I want to ensure the spice stays in our sex life anyway so would love some advice and suggestions on that.
I'd prefer to be making love three times a week are there are tips for increasing his libido?
Also something I am rather embarassed about I have never given him or any man oral sex and he has never asked but I think he is just being polite, I'd like him to guide or if I suddenly get really confident I'd like to surprise him would love any advice from basics to tips and technique please!

S x

Hey,

It sounds as if you have a whole number of issues which are all combining to put a bit of a damp squib on things. Staying at your parents, starting work at 5am (I thought that hour was just a rumour!!), and any problems he has. :o( Don't get too down about it ,it is just a phase - you wait til you get your own place!! ;o)

As for ideas well giving him oral could be a good place to start!!!!! 8oD There is a whole section down below (no pun intended!!) which if you trawl through and especial go into the archives will give you all the information and more you could ever want!! There is one thread that I'll try to find and bump for you. If you are not sure if he wants you to do it, then start by kissing him and slowly kiss down his neck,then his chest, then his tummy by which time you will both have a good idea of what your intentions are and what his reaction will be.

As for additional ideas, well is there a chance you can get away? Go to a B&B or even a cheap hotel. You could even play a game of meeting up at the hotel for an "illicit" rendezvous!! Or find out if any of your friends are going away on holiday and if they would like/mind if you house sat for them.

Either way, don't get too stressed, all relationships go through times when things take a dip.

Hi ssapril and welcome,

Some good stuff there from Colenso in his reply.

A good sex life is not conditional on constantly ringing the changes, otherwise we would all have short sex lives as we would run out of new possibilities. Given normal circumstances, what you will find works really well is loads of love, tenderness and repeating with your hands, lips, feet nipples hair and anything else, all those loving arousing touches and carresses. There are a miriad variations on all of those which both of you will find very delicious. Show him, tell him let him feel just how much you desire, adore and want to be physically part of him in sexual union and everything else.

Just now, as you have said being at home with the parents is very distracting and restrictive. Plus the daily starting time, the fact that the house is not coimg along according to plan. This I would guess is major factor for him, as although you are probably doing it together, he will see it as part of his responsibility to provide for you, and if it does not go right, then he is under his own pressure.

Oral sex..... I would suggest you do not bother until you get into your new home. This is going to extract lots of very pleasurable sounds in good volume from him as you practice your skill. What skill I hear you shouting? Colenso gave you one way to start, there are numerous ways. You could shower together, and you take the task of washing every bit of him. To wash his legs and feet you will need to kneel down on the shower floor, and this will bring your face to his penis. As you work, just give him as little lick  once or twice and see how he reacts. If there is no rejection, or he strokes your head, then you know you have his desire and permission to go further. So now wash his penis with loads of soap so he gets a good erection, then using a slightly cool or even nearl cold shower head, wash off all the soap, rewarm the shower, and slowly and as erotically as you can take him in your mouth. If he is well aroused he may cum quite quickly, in which case you have to decide if you want him in your mouth. If he does not cum even if you delay trying to make him until you are both dry and in another situation, do not fret, simply enjoy what you do. A womans mouth is not as firm as her hand or vagina, and may not be able to stimulate him enough to get him to orgasm, but be well assured he will love every second of it. If you want to be sure he cums, use your hand to also masturbate him and the other hand to stroke and fondle his balls and inner thighs and lower belly. Make those actions like you are stroking his cum towards his penis.

As for you cuming several times and feeling under pressure to achieve this, tell him outside the bedroom how important or not this is. Like if you do not need to cum to have very satisfactory sex, then he needs to know.

Hope all that helps a bit.

Mm

I am a guy and what really gets me off orally is when my girl friend justs takes the tip of my penis in her mouth and rubs her tongue underneath my head.  Also as to oral sex, there is no such thing as a bad BJ, some are just better than others.

C

Yeah well at the moment he is more interested in bloody sleeping - at 9 o'clock!!!!

So frustrated - haven't had sex for 10 days because I've been on anti-biotics, he even said it's been too long and now he'd rather watch the back of his eyelids, he's only 34 for christs sake but he acts 80 - where has all his passion gone??? He used to push me for sex???

V worried!!