Hi,

I am needing a little advice so i will try and keep this as simple as possible and try not to sound wierd or something haha.

Me and my partner have been together 3 months, we love each other very much but have never actually had a major sex life. He has a high sex drive and mine i suppose is medioca. Anyway, there is an age difference between us and im mentioning this as i think maybe this could be a factor to my problem - im 21 and he is 39.

My problem being that, he hasnt ventured in the bedroom department much. Missionary and thats about it so he wants to try new things which i am more than happy with but sometimes we bearly even get to sex before he.... "ya know" lol. I now try to keep foreplay to a minimum hoping he wont get too excited, but that isnt working either and it is really really frustrating. We dont see each other every single day. Mostly on weekends which i suppose doesnt help either so when it comes to the weekend i dont want to be let down. "He gets what he wants and i dont" if you know what i mean :-(

Is there any advice for things i could do - or more to the point dont do lol. I get really annoyed and sometimes get a little moody with him even though i shouldnt.

Thanks for reading sorry if i have gone on or even not given enough info

xx

Honeybee,

I have to be honest and tell you the cold hard truth - IT'S NOT YOU!!!

If anything, all you've done is be too attractive! (but I wouldn't recommend changing that! :) ) The downside about that is that because you're not the problem, there's very little you can do to improve the situation... apart from be as encouraging as you can.

(Does he pleasure you manually or orally before or afterwards to make sure you're still satisfied?)
It's totally in his own head and ultimately he needs to overcome this. I have a feeling he's probably had this problem all his life, correct me if I'm wrong..?

It might help if he used a densensitizing gel like this: http://www.amazon.com/Durex-Longer-Desensitizing-Lubricant-Ounce/dp/B000052XJS which has got some really good reviews.

What's his reaction when it happens? Does he seem like he wants to make it better or has he resigned himself to the fact that he's always like this?

:-)

He's old enough to know that he would also get a much better orgasm by lasting longer, unfortunately you could do with having lots of sex to cure his eagerness, it is flattering that he is so excited by seeing you but sex that is over too fast is disappointing for the both of you - how about getting him a cock ring? That should get him lasting a bit longer in the short term, we found out by accident that tingle lube makes my hubby last a lot longer.

Positions help enormously too,  you could try a you on top position rather than him just thrusting away, not many men will last very long when just banging away!   Make him slow down, have sex on top of him and take it very slowly, it will build his confidence up and you can go at your pace to get maximum pleasure, you can learn to control his orgasm.

Try having sex more than once in a day, if he's too quick the 1st time then he *should* last much longer a few hours later.

hi,

i just want to know whats the difference between lasting longer good orgasm and the not good qiucker one on men how as women i can be know this and is that women also should be on orgasm every time and if she should not get orgas every time whose fault it will be his man or her. One more thing what kind of feeling women have hen they come on orgasm or i mean she has good orgasm.

I know its sound strange some one like me have sex and dont fully aware or know how the orgasm feel like. i hope you guys understand what i want to know, please let me know.

thanks

regards ismi

Hi

Thank you so much for your replies. I will try to give the information i can without forgetting anything.

He does attempt to pleasure me beforehand but not afterwards. I think he may have had this a while, he was married to the same women for 15 years (since he was 18) ish. I am the TOTAL opposite of her, which i should look as a good thing i hope haha.

Thank for you the link i will certainly try it out. Im running out of options. We dnt see each other day (maybe 2 or 3 days a week at the moment because of his work) which is a pain b cos if i could have sex 2 or 3 times a day to "get over the situation" so to speak then i would be more than happy to lol. He isnt always on top of me. I tried it a few times on top of him, slowly as mentioned but this made matters extremely worse and that was the only time he admitted it would make him cum earlier cos it turned him on too much (sorry too much info) So that certainly didnt work haha. I can understand he wants to explore in ways such as positions, toys, role play etc and i really want to as well but its just so impossible at the moment.

I will certainly be looking at that website and seeing if it can help. One other thing i should have mentioned is that "im very hard to please" lol. I have only ever reached an orgasm with 1 guy, or by my self so its not the whole orgasm thing i have an issue with. its me waiting weeks to make love to him and then wondering why the hell i bothered lol..

Thank you guys again and sorry for the lenghtly message (again)

xx