Ok words cannot express how shallow and guilty I feel about this!

I have found what seems to be the perfect guy, at least in personality. He may not be wonderful looking (he's a little overweight) but he is so attentive, kind, caring, adoring and considerate. He bends over backwards to make me feel special and makes me laugh and I am very attracted to him too.

However - oh my god, the underwear was a shock. Ok, it's not exaclty 'y-fronts/tighty-whities' (thank god), but it's only a step down. He wears black briefs. Always black briefs. They are tight and unflattering and an instant mood killer when I see them. They are kind of repulsive to be honest and seem to represent him as a bit of a loser.

He's a bit innocent, and I was his first sexual partner, so he's a little 'uncool' at the best of times. Maybe if he were some kind of Adonis the briefs wouldn't look so bad, but when I see them I am instantly put-off. It also means he has to put on jeans to go to the loo in the night because I would die - like, die, if my flatmate bumped into him. My last boyfriend wore boxers and t-shirts, and I wouldn't mind him bumping into her on the way back from the bathroom, but this guy I know she would find really disgusting. I know, I'm shallow and a bitch but has anyone else ever had this problem? Or can at least understand where I'm coming from? And what can I do to sort of persuade him or encourage him to wear like, boxer-briefs or something at least! Argh.

Lu xxx

Hi Lu,

It's good that you can at least acknowledge how shallow you are!

The simple answer would be to buy him some new underwear that you approve of.

IEM

Hi Lu,

Lol, your post did make me giggle a little - it obviously really bugs you.

Count your blessings it's Christmas coming up! ;-)

Awww lulusue,

You have loads of ways to help him be more interesting to you in the underwear dept. You could use you, and ask him if there is anything you wear that he likes or dislikes in that dept. then simply say you think he would look better in.........

Ask him if he wears them for some good reason, like he finds them very comfortable. If he is well comfortable with you, he could well take a suggestion that they do not really suit him could you go shopping together for something different? You could make that quite a saucy adventure actually. As he has not had a woman to guide him previously, it falls to you to be helpful. As he has to leave your room to go to the toilet in the night, get a pair of boxers for him to slip on without asking, they are easier than jeans, then admire them when he returns.

Mm

Hi Lulusue,

You may think you have found the perfect partner in terms of personality however, you don't fancy him. Well not that much anyway! He could be wearing brand new Hugo Boss of your choice of style and I think you'd still feel the same....

My BF could take his jeans off and be wearing thermals for all I bloody care - it's what underneath that I find sexy and that includes his skin. If you have got any depth of feeling for anyone, it's EVERYTHING about them you find sexy and believe me, what underwear he's wearing ain't going to make a shred of difference.

When I get up first thing in the morning, hair everywhere, smudged mascara, minging old glasses and to boot, a really dodgy, out of shape, velour tracksuit thing, my BF STILL (although admittedly I do find this amazing....), finds me gorgeous. Underneath all that is a pair of boobs that have seen better days and a whole load of cellulite, but I'm still me and according to him, sexy as hell.

My guess is you're still fairly young and for that reason, I'm not going to agree and say you're shallow because I think, when you're older, you'll wonder why on EARTH you ever found underwear an excuse to think like that. If you really felt something for him, you'd think his dodgy taste in underwear was cute - not replusive.

Love S xx