Board Name: Online Dating
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summertime_girl

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Last visit: 8-Nov

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Discussion Title:Deal Breakers
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Message #:2290.1
From:summertime_girl
To:ALL
Date:3-Nov 16:32
Replies:2
Message: Hi

I am just posting this sort of on behalf of a friend who's still active on Match.com

My friend is a child-free-by-choice man in his 30s and he has clearly stated in his profile that he never wants to have kids, and will not consider dating a woman who wants to have children or already has them.

Nevertheless, most of the emails and winks he receives are from girls who either have children or have stated they definitely want them someday.

We got to thinking - if somebody sees a profile they like the look of enough to send a wink or a message, surely they would read the whole profile first? If not, why not? And, if they HAVE read the profile thoroughly and there is a deal-breaker that is the polar opposite of them, why pursue that person?

Other examples of "deal-breakers" might be things like religion, vegetarianism, smoker status, whether they drink alcohol. Another friend actually detests Football so much that she decided to put it in her profile but still received countless emails from football fanatics.

Some of you may recall that *I* was pursued by a man who has a child, despite me saying something similar to my friend in MY profile. And I went on a few dates with him. I never actually asked him why he bothered to email me after what I'd written, but he did ask me why I'd agreed to date HIM in the knowledge he had a child. The truth was, because he was so bloody gorgeous. So perhaps that's the answer haha!
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cl-miss1970  Member Icon

Posts on this board: 339

Last visit: 21-Nov

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Discussion Title:Deal Breakers
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Message #:2290.2 in response to 2290.1
From:cl-miss1970  Member Icon
To:summertime_girl
Date:5-Nov 19:41
Replies:2
Message:

Hi Summertime girl,

"The truth was, because he was so bloody gorgeous. So perhaps that's the answer haha!!"  I think your comment at the end of your post is probably most relevant to the questions you ask!

This seems to be the big question with OD in general, why do people contact others who have stipulated a particular requirement that they are not looking for in a person, whether it be distance, age, no children, non-smokers only and so on...

Most likely people who are getting in touch are hoping that the person they contact might make an exception despite their preferences. The annoying part of OD when you have to send countless numbers of 'thanks for getting in touch but....' emails!!

Missy x
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